Why Does it Feel Like Goodbye
by Eileniessa
Summary: This wasn't how things were meant to end…so why does it feel like goodbye? Liara's skin still tingled faintly from her touch. She clung to the sensation like a precious memory, as though fearful it may become just that.


**Disclaimer:**

This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the game Mass Effect 3 and the game series by BioWare. I do not claim ownership to any of these characters and have written this fanfiction for entertainment, not financial gain.

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 **Jodi** **Picoult, 'Nineteen Minutes'**

"If you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them? Did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn't be filled?"

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This wasn't how things were meant to end…so why does it feel like goodbye? Liara's skin still tingled faintly from her touch. She clung to the sensation like a precious memory, as though fearful it may become just that.

 _Here, take her._

No matter how foolish it felt, Liara had begun to believe in miracles. How could she not? After all they had been through, together. Impossibility was not a cage, but a shackle. It did not confine potential but hindered progress and was a burden too heavy for some. But not for Shepard. If Liara hadn't been there beside her nearly every step of the way, she would have thought her story a legend. A tall tale spun from rumours and wishful thinking, it was the only plausible explanation. But now, she saw the universe more clearly. Like a beacon, the commander had cleared the haze clouding her vision. For the first time, Liara saw beyond possibility; now, she shared Shepard's light. Hope.

 _Shepard!_

With it, Liara had begun to dream. She dreamt of dawn, of watching the light with her beloved as the dark days faded into distant memory. A new day, another chapter, only this time – a happier one. Liara knew that dawn would come. Hope prevented her from believing otherwise. Survival was so much more than the here and now, it was about seeing the rise of tomorrow. Never before had Liara looked to the horizon, but now, it seemed that her eyes saw nothing else but what the future may bring. Something worth fighting for.

 _You gota get out of here!_

Dawn brought so many chances. An opportunity for her and Shepard to rebuild their lives from the rubble which remained of their homes, and their past. They would no longer have to run from place to place, always something to do, someone to save. Boredom would be a new luxury to them, one they welcomed with open arms. They would answer any calls, should they come, but until then…peace. For once, they could enjoy the moment and watch as time slipped lazily through their fingers like grains of sand. Liara would enjoy each second of this new life, and she would be forever thankful that they didn't have to treat them as their last. They no longer had to live in the moment, but in memories and dreams as well.

 _I'm alright Shepard._

They'd been only one more miracle away. Dawn was coming. Their luck had been abundant, as though the universe was smiling down at them and guiding them towards the end. They pushed past impossibility, moving through the remains of London and obliterating any obstacle in their way. Even in the fire and carnage, light shone, and humanity stood against the reapers, and they weren't alone. Allies from countless stars shed their blood on planet earth, fighting not beside distant neighbours but beside their equals, beside their friends. Unity, another of Shepard's legacies. She had woven together a tapestry of mismatched colours and shapes, and while some complained about the pattern of the cloth, others saw the quality of the thread. The glow of the teleporter threw grotesque shadows over the battlefield like dancing spirits. Endless beams and explosions shook the ground around them, but they were invincible - nothing could stop them now. Fate was smiling upon them, right up until Liara was thrown off her feet.

 _Don't argue with me Liara!_

The battlefield went quiet, drowned out by the ringing in her ears. She couldn't even hear herself scream. Her head lolled gently to one side when someone pulled her to her feet. Liara followed without question, her self-control bruised and battered by the insanity drilling through her skull. Only when Shepard's eyes fell upon the bloody wound in her side did the feeling of pain begin to leak through her dazed mind. When her love opened her mouth to speak, her words were lost, no matter how much Liara strained to hear. Shepard placed her hand over the wound as she shouted into the comms. The next thing Liara saw on the horizon, was the Normandy. They'd only been one more miracle away from the end of it all.

 _You're not leaving me behind!_

She'd felt the future slipping through her fingers as clouds blocked out the rise of dawn. The world moved like honey trickling down the side of a jar; Liara could remember each second with painful clarity, as though they were pictures in a storyboard. Her tomorrow was standing before her, watching over her with a smile – despite everything. There was nothing she loved more. She had imagined waking up to that face every morning, the most breath-taking sight Liara would ever see. Yet, tomorrow had never felt so out of reach, regardless of how far they'd come…and how close they'd been. She couldn't let her go. There was no future without tomorrow.

 _No matter what happens, you mean everything to me Liara. You always will._

A tear rolled slowly down Liara's cheek, tracing a shimmering line on her dusty, bloody face. Icy crystals slithered through her veins, the life and energy draining from her mortal vessel as she hardened into ice. Shepard backed away with sluggish steps as the world rolled and twisted around them. Liara could do nothing but watch as the light began to dim. She tried to speak, but her mind was drowned. There were too many things to say, so much she wanted to express, but no language which could convey them. Imagination does not limit the writer's story, but the dull confines of dialect when compared with the boundless experience of reality.

"Shepard I…"

 _The light breeze gently stroked her skin and ruffled her skirt as the sun bathed their garden in its light. Liara laughed softly when Shepard placed the colourful flower crown on her head, one of the petals floating down and perching on the end of her nose. Leaning in close, so that their noses were almost touching, Liara blew the stray petal away and watched the wind carry it. The melodic sound of rustling leaves and chirping birds serenaded them as the sun began to dip behind the trees. She could feel her eyes becoming heavy, the comfort of Shepard's arms around her, the feel of her touch and the beat of her heart enchanting her with a fanciful sense of safety and happiness._

 _There was a distant chuckle. "Sleep Liara, I'm not going anywhere." A pair of lips pressed against her forehead and Liara sighed. It was hard to believe she wasn't already dreaming. She'd always had her ambition, her desire to learn and to grow, but she'd never dared to dream. It was best to strive towards realistic goals and to avoid disappointment, that's what she'd once believed. It was a foolish thought. To dream was to hope, to have faith in a better tomorrow. Liara had never dared to dream about falling in love with someone like Shepard, and yet…here she was, tearing down the myth of impossibility. "When tomorrow comes, I'll be there."_

 _"_ _I love you, Shepard," she whispered, eyes sliding shut. "More than anything."_

The light embeds away, shrinking into the battlefield. Liara reaches out her hand, trying to catch the light. But she already feels herself going blind, her vision dimming and blurring.

She watches with a heavy heart as Shepard slips away. She should be there, beside her. One last step. One last miracle. One last fight for tomorrow. But she was alone. This wasn't how things were meant to end…so why does it feel like goodbye…

"Shepard I…I am yours."

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Hello! Long time no see my lovely followers and welcome to new readers. My first fic in another universe, I hope to do more mass effect and perhaps some dragon age stories in the future, let me know if that's something you'd like to see :)

Anyone who is wondering about Realms, check out my information/profile, I've put an explanation up about my absence, though hopefully, I'll be back very soon.


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